The Health Care Party

How delightful will it be when Democratic hospitals are run like the Democrats education system? There will be the Public Hospitals. These are the ones that will have doctors all paid the same amount, whether they are good at what they do or not. Their only pay incentives will be to stay on the job, even long after they've become bored and uninspired, so that they can increase their retirement pay once they decide to cash out.
The Public Hospitals will offer mediocre care, at best, and their unions will fight all attempts at improving results. Instead, they'll make up a list of goals to "improve" health care, a list that would, if implemented, only result in the need to hire more nurses and doctors. We need more doctors per patient they will argue, as well as more nurses per patient. This is the only way to improve health care will be their mantra. Smaller room sizes will be on the list of talking points. Fewer administrators and more caregivers will be on the list, and there will be rules requiring patients to be in hospitals even when those hospitals can do nothing to help them.
They'll campaign for regular hospitalizations, longer stays, more alternative treatments for special needs patients, and they'll argue against any systems of calculating their successes while they argue that better patient outcomes will only result if more money is spent per patient. There will also be Charter Hospitals. These will be union free hospitals where the medical industry will be freed up to use new methods that work better. They'll get more from their staffs, who will agree to work longer days for less money just for the joy of working in a functional environment. Patients will sob in line when they're turned away from Charter Hospitals for lack of available space, knowing that their opportunities for survival will have been severely diminished, and there will be an outcry from cities and towns across the country - please give us more Charter Beds. Public Hospitals will complain about the financial hit they suffer as a result of the Charters, even though the Publics will still be paid for patients they don't treat to appease them. Democrats will sound the alarm across the nation - it is unfair to give some patients a better outcome in Charters - it's elitist! Everyone should get equal care! Besides, some patients only do better in Charters because their families care about them enough to apply for a Charter Bed. It's not fair to compare Charters to the Traditional Public Hospitals. And the Empathetic Democrats will pass special laws limiting the number of Charter Beds allowed per county, not wanting to risk too much money being diverted to the Charters and threatening the futures of the poorly performing schools. Democrats will come to be known as the "Health Care Party" for their noble support of the mediocre Public Hospitals.