Palin Is Failin’

Think about this for a moment. When is the last time you heard any mention of Sarah Palin since she announced that would not seek the Republican Party nomination for President? It has been a long time hasn’t it? Most of you have probably not heard mention of her since that very day of October 5, 2011.

During a radio interview that day, the former ex-quitting half-term Governor of Alaska told a conservative host that she could actually be more influential and powerful if she was not in fact, elected to the most influential and powerful office in the world. She said, “Not being a candidate, really you are unshackled and you’re able to be even more active. I need to be able to say what I want to say.” This type of confusing double-speak of course, was a Palin trademark since that unfortunate day in 2008 when John McCain unleashed the “Disaster from Alaska” on the Lower 48.

Unfortunately for Sarah Palin, her new-found “unshackled” status with its freedom to be “more active” and “to say what I want to say” has been a one-way street. You see, the American people no longer care what Sarah Palin has to say and they are not interested in what she does. Additionally, Palin has certainly not been “more active” than she was during the days of her book tours and PAC-sponsored family-vacations. Indeed, her prediction of enhanced influence in the political realm seems to have been “unshackled” from reality.

Palin is aware of her diminishing star power however, and she is determined to place herself back in the spotlight. Much like her intentionally long-delayed presidential announcement was designed to maintain her relevance for as long as possible, her present reluctance to endorse a presidential candidate serves the same purpose. By teasing her Tea Party sycophants who tend to obey her every command, Palin has maintained some relevance within that small but diminishing faction of society.

But Sarah Palin craves more than that. Tea Party relevance does not necessarily translate into money and stardom. Palin cannot simply release another ghost-written book either because most Americans no longer seem to care what she has to say. Consequently, Palin realizes that the only avenue remaining is a return to low-brow reality television like so many other washed-up celebrities. The fact that she and her family fit the mold of dysfunctional sit-com soap-opera characters only adds to the allure of the boob tube.

Consequently, we learned this weekend that her former reality show, Sarah Palin’s Alaska” may return for a second season following its hiatus during the Queen of Quit’s flirtation with a presidential run last season. This second season would presumably feature more staged vignettes of Sarah and family fishing, hunting, bickering and drilling for oil. It has been rumored that the re-emergence of this particular show followed Palin’s failed attempt to create a spin-off series featuring husband Todd the “First Dude” on the professional snow-machine circuit. Apparently TLC could not be convinced that snowmobile racing is the next NASCAR. Of the renewed series however, a network source told the Hollywood Reporter, “I think it is safe to say her time has passed.”

Ahh Sarah Palin, we hardly knew ye!

In honor of the troops, please remember to click on the song link below to familiarize yourselves with the tune and to have more fun singing along with today’s song parody.

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town song link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ky4wu58XTr4

SARAH PALIN’S COMING TO TOWN

(sung to the Patti Page version of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Get your wallet out
Wink and blink your eyes
Holler and shout
At protesting guys
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

She’ll fleece you while your sleeping
Your money she will take
She’ll force you to purchase her book
Although the story’s fake

Oh, get your money out
So that you can buy
Can’t be without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

Your town’s on her list
So you must play nice
And listen to Sarah P.’s advice
Sarah Palin’s coming to town

The crap she serves is heaping
The truth she does forsake
The writing is so bad it’s good
For a laugh you should partake

Oh, don’t make Sarah pout
Don’t make Sarah cry
Don’t go without
Her book full of lies
Sarah Palin’s coming to town