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VB The Wise: Pats + White House = Epic Fail

But why?

Doug 'VB' Goudie
April 21, 2017 - 5:07 am
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So the Patriots went to the White House on Wednesday, and while it pained me as a Falcons fan to tune in, I did so knowing that this was going to be a fun, raucous, upbeat affair.  And maybe it was, IN PERSON, but on television, it was terrible.  Why?  Because 1. White House visits like this are supposed to have a certain level of 'roast' to them, and 2. These guys are friends, and friends bust each other's chops when they haven't seen each other for a while.  Right?  But there was none of that here; instead, what we got was two sides making sure that they didn't cause to much trouble for the other, and it sucked.  I mean, if the Phoenix Coyotes or the Milwaukee Bucks were there to meet George H.W. Bush or Barack Obama, I would expect generic and boring, but this was the PATRIOTS, and this was DONALD TRUMP!!!! This was supposed to be fun, and instead they played an egg (Easter was Sunday, not Wednesday Mr. President).  And this would have been so easy too, if you'd only have called me POTUS, I could have given you some quick one-liners that would have had the boys laughing behind you, like for example:

 

1. And how about Julian Edelman with THAT CATCH?  Man, I could use Julian around here, maybe he could 'catch' some of those leakers that are more interested in helping the press than the country.  (Big grin on Edelman's face right behind the President.)

2. Tom Brady couldn't make it today (boo!), no that's o.k. I never liked him anyway! (Hahaha).  Seriously, Tom wanted to come, but his wife said no, Tom objected, but then she persisted. ('Hey ho' shouts Reince off camera, everyone laughs.)

3. You know who else wanted to be here today?  Rex Ryan, but unfortunately for Rex, the New England Patriots and Bill Belichick were invented. (Mic drop, huge laughs, including from Rex at home.)

4. I remember thinking at halftime of the Super Bowl, when you guys are down 21-3, what could Bill possibly do to turn this around, but somehow he figured it out during the break, and that has inspired me.  From now on, there will be a halftime of all of Sean Spicer's press conferences so that I can make the necessary adjustments... (Cut to a shot of Spicer looking worried while everyone laughs.)

5. And since you are the New England Patriots, I invited Bernie Sanders from Vermont to be here today, but he politely declined.  Apparently he thinks the Patriots aren't socialist enough since you never share the Lombardi trophy with any of the other teams in the league. (Gronk looks puzzled, laughs a few seconds after everyone else laughs.)

 

Now that would have been an event.  Come on POTUS, you're better than what you showed Wednesday.  Stop caring about what people think and have some fun.  And while we're at it, the next time Gronk asked you if you need help Spicer, you say 'absolutely', and you bring Gronk to the podium!  That was a bigger blown opportunity than my Falcons in the Super Bowl.  (Well, maybe not that bad...)

​More wisdom next week.​

 

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